What I'd like to say

Yes, I love you, but I also love myself, and even though my ego isn't as important as you, the sanity of my heart and feelings are at risk when we collide, and I've already experienced too much pain to bare......---

Not sure about my feelings

So I've been feeling some anxiety lately and depression. Some of it stems from.my feelings about my relationship. I know it wasn't the best decision for me. But it's what I felt I needed to do to help him. Yeah, I have again put someone elses feelings above my own. And the thing is, he doesn't seem to mind. I've told him more than once my reasons for coming back. And he's just selfish enough to be okay with that.

Back to the original topic. I think another reason for my anxiety and depression is the fact that I quit my job. I thought that I had a sure back up but it doesn't seem.that way anymore. So now if I ever did get up the nerve to leave again I wouldn't be able to. I can't leave without a job. The next time I leave it will be to my own place. I don't want to rely on anyone else. Just myself. I desperately need this independence.

Now that I've gotten that little bit of emotion off my chest I think I need to go to bed.