First of all

This is the first blog so I'll keep it light. It's 1:30AM, I should be in bed. But I'm up because I just can't go to bed early for some reason. I have a lot of emotional issues - trust, relationships, and weight all play a big role in my problems.

I've had weight problems most of my life. It never really bothered me when I was younger because I was never HUGE. And I was so loveable that I didn't get picked on. Except once in middle school but I had several people stick up for me. In high school I became more aware of my weight. And that led to my first weight loss success. In ninth grade I weight somewhere in the 180s. By tenth grade I go down to around 150-160. I don't really remember. But in eleventh and twelfth grades I dated a guy who was really into video games and computers. So everyday for nearly two years I watched him play games. Only taking a break to eat (often). So by the time I graduated high school I got dangerously close to 200lbs. But the summer of 2005 (year I graduated) we broke up. And I was able to focus on myself fully for once. Then I began losing weight. In 2006 I got my first job at Wal-Mart. By then I probably weight around 160lbs again. And then came the next boyfriend. I fell for him fast and he broke my heart. But at least it didnt effect my weight. After we broke up I began working at TJ Maxx. I worked there for just over a year. It was a physically demanding job because I worked in the back room a lot and I often had to run around the entire store. Plus I didn't have time to snack a lot. So I got down to about 145 by 2007.

I was happy there. Things were good in my life. I dated a guy and lost him in a short time. But I was still happy with myself. Then I got pregnant and lost my job in the same month. That led to lots of weight gain. When I gave birth in 2008 I was just over 200lbs. And from there my weight has gone up. And as much as I hate it, I am not ashamed to say that today I weight 234lbs. I started working on my weight problem a few month ago then I broke my ankle. But now I am healed and am gonna dive back in.

I just wish I had more support. I am the biggest person in my family so no one else needs to lose weight like I do. I get told a lot to just quit snacking and exercise. It's not that easy. I have a food addiction. And no one understands how I feel.

Ok I meant to keep this light. Ooops! Oh well, not like anyone will read this yet.

Goodnight.