What I'd like to say

Yes, I love you, but I also love myself, and even though my ego isn't as important as you, the sanity of my heart and feelings are at risk when we collide, and I've already experienced too much pain to bare......---

Not sure about my feelings

So I've been feeling some anxiety lately and depression. Some of it stems from.my feelings about my relationship. I know it wasn't the best decision for me. But it's what I felt I needed to do to help him. Yeah, I have again put someone elses feelings above my own. And the thing is, he doesn't seem to mind. I've told him more than once my reasons for coming back. And he's just selfish enough to be okay with that.

Back to the original topic. I think another reason for my anxiety and depression is the fact that I quit my job. I thought that I had a sure back up but it doesn't seem.that way anymore. So now if I ever did get up the nerve to leave again I wouldn't be able to. I can't leave without a job. The next time I leave it will be to my own place. I don't want to rely on anyone else. Just myself. I desperately need this independence.

Now that I've gotten that little bit of emotion off my chest I think I need to go to bed.

Easy way to remove leftover candle wax

It's really simple. Just boil some water the pour it in the glass. Let it sit for a few minutes and the wax will float to the top. Depending on how much wax is in there you may have to repeat. Then I washed the glasses to get rid of any residue.

Home sweet home ... or something like that.

So I'm back at home with the SO. It's not really what I wanted right now but I'm good at making sacrifices for people I care about so that they can be happy. It doesn't always work out so well for me but it is what it is. Maybe I will end up being happy. But I kind of doubt that.

Mother Teresa

So I found this quote from Mother Teresa that is absolutely beautiful.

“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.”
― Mother Teresa

I think I would like to write a post about each part of it. You know, how it can be applied to my life good or bad. I think this would help me get started blogging on a regular basis which is what I want to do. So if I find the time this weekend I will write about oppurtunity.

Until then, goodnight.

I'm losing a lot these days

So here i am 3 months since my last post. Since then I got back with my ex and then broke up again. This time was more serious since I decided to move out and stay with my sister. But now my ex is saying he wants to work things out. I'm pretty sure I'm done for good this time. We just didn't work well together. I don't even think we would have made it this far if it wasn't for our daughter. I think this is for the best though. It feels right this way.

I have also made progress with my weight loss since the last post. I have now lost a total of 35 lbs. I am about a pound and a half away from being back in the 100's. I haven't been there since right after the birth of my daughter nearly 4 years ago. So I'm pretty excited.

Well this insomniac must try to get some rest. Hopefully it won't be another couple months until my next post :)

Hello again

Recently a Facebook friend made a blog on here. This reminded me that I too have a blog. It's been a year and a half since I've been on here (slacker!). On my last post I had expressed my concerns about my weight. Well I never really did anything about it then (double slacker!). But now I am working again, have been since August 2011. This job is nothing but walking basically. Since I've started I have lost 20 pounds. Yeah it's slow moving but that's my biggest accomplishment since the birth of my daughter (She is almost 4!). I still have issues with eating junk (and drinking Cheerwine) but since half of my waking hours are spent at work, I don't have as much time to eat.

In the past week or two I have made smarter choices in food (with the exception of Super Bowl Sunday, totally regret those choices). I seem to be more motivated now to lose weight. I attribute this new found inspiration to the fact that I am now SINGLE. Yes, for the first time in nearly five years I am a single woman. I want to gain back the confidence I had before this relationship.

Now lets get off the weight thing and talk more about the single thing. With this new freedom, come new responsibilities. I do not plan to jump in a relationship. I will not actively seek out guys, however if some fellas take it upon themselves to contact me, I will not turn them away if they seem like someone I'd like to get to know. But I will definitely take things slower than I have in the past. The main reason for this: my daughter. I will not let just anyone around her.

I would really like to talk more about the complicated situation I am in with this new single life (ie the weird living situation), but I think I'll save that for another post, now I must get ready for that oh so wonderful job of mine.